Fifty Shades of Green

Yesterday afternoon started pretty innocently, just like any other really.  Picked up the 7yr old from school and headed to his library for a wee book sale.  Fill a bag for $1 the sign read. So fill we did.  All sorts of interesting titles have found a new home on his book shelf.
In the evening I was planning on heading to a besties house to help her fill in her annual real estate Christmas Card list for Clients on her data base which would also be a good excuse to drink bubbles and consume the chocolate she was enticing me there with as a reward for all our impending hard work and excellent penmanship.
I decided to jump in the shower before I left and was just starting the drying off stage when a little voice outside the bathroom declared he would sit outside the door and read me one of his new books.  I agreed that was a fabulous idea.  "It's a book about Frogs" he informed me.  "Excellent...read on" I replied towel drying my hair.
The 7 yr old is a pretty good reader but is still at the 'sounding out words we are unsure of' stage.  So it was a slow but steady story, plenty of time for my mind to drift....
"At the beginning of spring the frogs wake up and gather at the waters edge.  The breeding season, which lasts for roughly two months, then starts.  The male frogs inflate their throats and croak loudly to attract females, who grunt in reply and quickly join them in the water" at this point I wasn't really taking much notice of what he was reading so just threw in a "that's very interesting" and carried on getting dressed.....he continued "The male climbs onto the back of the female and clasps under the arms, his hands meeting across her red chest.  The male grips his mates slippery body...." at this point the words were suddenly sinking in as to what he was reading out to me...I froze in panic.  How to make this stop before he described in detail just how Frogs get jiggy with it or worked out just what he was reading and wanted to start asking questions.  Good God, I did not have time for this... with one leg in my jeans and frantically pulling on my top whilst yelling out "OK LETS LEAVE IT THERE...SKIP ON TO THE NEXT BIT, WHAT ELSE HAPPENS IN THIS BOOK"  I flung open the door, ripped the book out of his hands and flipped through another couple of pages until it got to the bit about what the bloody things eat and started him off there.  Close Call.

Oh look shes giving him a piggy back ride

Christmas Cake anyone??!!

Its a funny thing life isn't it?  My first ever sponsored post and its something I have never ever tried in my life.  Its not that I live under a rock but if you know me, you would no that I have very simple food tastes.  The husband is slowly working on me and I am trying new things, although the old saying "Don't tell them whats in it and they'll eat it by the box full" definitely applies.
I was very pleased when the nice people at 'Bakers Delight' contacted me asking me to sample and then write about a couple of their products.  I freaken love all their rolls, they stay fresh for longer.  My kids demand their Cheese and Bacon creation every time we pass and I have been known to devour their Garlic Bread Stick on plenty of occasions BUT when I read on and saw it was a Christmas Cake or Nana Cake in my brain my stomach dropped.  Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of offers of trying Xmas Cake during my years on this planet but I have declined EVERY time as I just think of Old ladies and Tea Towels, and then head straight for the Jelly and fruit salad instead.  Only last year I tried my first slice of Pavlova! No Jokes! it was yummy but the texture was very strange.   So how on earth did I find myself replying to the kind email with an enthusiastic "Sure I'd love to!" but reply I did, so figured this was the universes way of making me get out of my box and give it a go.  Maybe at this point Bakers Delight are regretting their decision.  I'm very sure that if I end up not being a fan it will have nothing to do with the cake and more to do with my cave man appetite.  I also figured that my kids shouldn't wait until they are in their 30's to try some festive dessert so have roped them in to taste test also.  I have decided to video the whole thing for posperity and for honesty....gulp!

Thank You Universe

 Phew we survived the big move and we did it still talking to each other.  Success.  This move felt a lot bigger than any of the others and we have done a few.  It took 3 days of load after load, we hired a big truck and a couple of cash strapped uni students.  The poor ones work the hardest I have found.  I even gave them lunch.  They were in heaven.  Its so much easier to boss people around when they are strangers and getting paid.  Family and friends just don't take so kindly to being whipped and sworn at.  The animals and kids are loving all the wide open spaces although my chooks who up until now have been completely free range struggled a tad with the new concept of fences, they have a massive area but spent the first few days pecking the shit out of the wire trying to get out to us.  They have now adjusted nicely to being contained sometimes and roaming the acre the rest of the time.  Compromise.  Our new garden is way to big to be going hunting for eggs in all the bushes and we decided that with this house we wanted to be able to run around in bare feet and didn't want to be side stepping Chicken shit everywhere we went.  Lets see how my sassy girls cope with a couple of extras added to their flock in the next couple of weeks.
We were very lucky and had my mum come and stay last week bringing my gorgeous niece with her.  Mums idea of relaxing is weeding my orchard.  I tried to let her do her thing and sit inside reading my book but my guilt got the better of me and had to go and join her.  At one point during the hours of garden torture she said "Isn't this relaxing, are you having fun?" I replied with a resounding "NO, weeding suxs." but I will admit its a lot more bearable when your weeding with someone and it looked bloody good at the end of it all.  I actually had tried a week before to weed between some rocks surrounding our big lawn but its hard with only one hand and I kept spilling my wine so I gave that up pretty quickly.
The thing with being a bit rural is all the bloody environment that keeps coming inside.  Flies, Spiders big arse moths.  We may end up investing in a fly spray company before the years out.
On the plus side being rural means not having to shut curtains or lock cars, it means I can yell at my kids without the neighbours calling CYPS and its all so bloody blissful.

Thank you Universe

20 Day Montage

Its been Twenty days since my last post?? Twenty Days! That's ridiculous! My blogging absence has been noted and I thought I should explain and what better way to explain than with a photo Montage. Also it's quick and actually if I'm being honest its also a bit of a writing cop out but it's the best I've got at the mo until the big shift is done and dusted this weekend...so enjoy!

Wedding No1 of 7!! The messy happy one in the middle is the best man/my husband

A very fun and loud night out with my bbiittchhhes from Dog Watch

This is us at before mentioned Wedding...not so happy about how the light makes my forehead look alien like?!

This is my first ever 'Royal' experience...in amongst all that is Charles and Camilla at the A&P Show

A selfy of us at the wedding...the husband looks like he has a sexual innuendo waiting to pop out

Cup Day Champagne Breakfast...never underestimate the power of scavenging! We ended up with an extra 40 bucks in our kitty from race tickets and cold hard cash that drunk people dropped!

"CAMILLA..HEY CAMILLA I'M OVER HERE!"

STOP!...Nurdle Time!

You may remember a previous blog Slave Labour with a Smile.   Well I have found another miracle App for under 10s on my wanky iphone which has again made my children complete a must do job with a smile and no whinging! and the best bit this one is free.  So being the caring sharing kinda gal I am I figured I should Spread the wisdom and Share the love!

 This little goodie is making the task of Tooth brushing a wee bit of a party twice a day.

It first gives the kid a bit of a lesson in 'double thumbs up' brushing techniques then roks on in to timing two minutes of happy happy tooth brushing.   Its the same song they use on the ads.  Which for an adult could border on freaken annoying but since its for under 10s and its doing some major good for dental health I can put up with it.  Happy Days.

Once the two minutes is done then the kid earns 20 coins, which means they can either save them up or head to the fun shop and buy some funky threads for their little toothpaste blob.  I've never met a kid yet who can resist virtual coins or being able to spend them.

My 7 yr old wanted to brush twice tonight just to get some more coins!  He was bopping along to the sounds whilst foam was pouring out of his mouth.  Success I reckon!

Speed Job Hunting

I mentioned a while back that the Teenager is or should have been job hunting.  She has turned 16 and has a car so needs to start earning some $$ to keep her in the lifestyle she has become accustomed.
We had been subtly leaving the job section of the newspaper on her bed every so often and she had applied for a few online (as you do these days) but she hadn't really put too much effort into the whole thing.
Yesterday it all changed.  Straight after school she had a job interview at Cotton On Kids at Riccarton Mall, which she said went really well and also a notice was put in her schools morning newsletter thingy to say that the local Shopping Centre was putting on a Christmas Casual Job recruitment evening from 6-8pm for any students wanting to register.  They just had to be aged 16 and have a current CV.
I got busy updating and printing out 12 copies of her CV for her to wow prospective employers with.
It was kinda like Speed Dating but for Jobs.  All the stores that needed Student Casual Workers over the holidays set up little interview areas in the food court and the kids just went to any they were keen on had a 5 or 10 minute chat and dropped off their CVs.
She got rid of all her CVs with the likes of 'Cheap Skates', 'Glassons', 'Farmers', 'Cotton On', 'Factorie', 'Typo', 'McDonalds' plus others.  She said they all went really well.  She is quite lucky that she has had a bit of retail/sales experience working the shows and markets so that definitely came in handy last night.
I think it was a really cool idea of the mall to put this kind of evening together for both the employers and the students, its a great way for these kids to try out the whole interview process and for the stores to sort their Christmas staff out all in one go.  Just more reasons why we love this City.
Hopefully she will get 3 or 4 job offers out of this and maybe it will turn into something more permanent if she does well.  If it just ends up being a casual job over the holidays then its just great experience for her CV for the future.  Win Win.

Hallo-Wicked!!!!

 Halloween last night on our street was Epic to say the least.  I'll go as far as to say "Best Halloween night EVER" and all it took was one Canadian chick to pop a couple of fliers in all the letterboxes on her walk home from school and that started it.  It was just the push we all needed to get the creative juices flowing!

 In the morning once the kids had gone to school I said to the Husband "I'll be back soon, just gotta go get some last minute Halloween stuff for tonight"  His words to me were "Don't go crazy!" I just rolled my eyes and sauntered out the gate with wallet in hand making mental notes about face paint more lollies and pumpkin baskets.  As it turned out the Husband ignored his own warning as I knew he would and ended up spray painting whole new spooky street signs.  Instead of the actual Slater St and Guild St, his signs read Slayer St and Ghoul St complete with dripping blood and a scream mask on the lamppost.  It became the spot for all the dressed up kids to stand under and get photos taken all night.

 He also hung stuff in our trees and the teenager made fake blood out of golden syrup and red food colouring which decorated our footpath and with which the husband, now dressed up in the 7yr olds Stegosaurus costume,  made all the little kids dip their lollies in.  Telling them it was teenager blood.  They weren't too keen.

We had loud spooky Halloween music blaring and ended up refilling our big bowls three times to keep up with the demand.

Word spread and we would've had anywhere near 100 dressed up Trick or Treating little freaks wandering up and down our neighbourhood.  From 5 - 7pm it was like we were one of those Xmas lights streets that everyone goes to look at.  Cars were parked all the way along.  Pretty much every house had decorations outside it to encourage the spooks to come on in and get some lollies.

People had dancing skeletons and in one haunted house they had to put there hands in sludgy, squishy stuff for spooky gross feeling fun.  The kids had a blast.
Watching the kids running around in packs I'm not sure it was even the lollies that they cared about, it was the dressing up and seeing other peoples costumes.  They were loving sharing out the lollies and popping into every ones front yards to see decorations that made it the most fun.  It was loud and noisy and awesome to see so many smiling, laughing kids and adults crawling all over our street.