Thursday, September 24, 2015

I turned 39 and died a little inside

I know I haven't blogged for ages, I'm just going to skip over that and pretend like I've been on here all year.  Lets not dwell on the past, onwards and upwards and all that shit.  Its cause I've just started a new proper adult full time job.  OK I only started that like a month ago so can't use that as an excuse...anyway I said I wasn't going to go on about it.

It was my birthday recently.  The big '3 9'.  and when you get to this age, presents aren't an expectation, more of a bonus when it happens.
But there are 2 people who always make sure I have actual presents wrapped to open.
One of those people is my lovely mother.  I say Lovely cause she is kind and sweet and all things Yellow.  I got the present out of the mail box a few days earlier than my actual special day and it said "Do not open til the 16th"... unfortunately while I was reading and heeding that warning message, the paper accidentally ripped, and before I could avert my eyes I noticed inside was a book.  Books are my crack.  Funnily enough I had just finished a book so what bloody good timing it was that the paper ripped that day and I had to start her book early.  Actually not my fault.
My mother has given me books in the past and they have generally been really different to what I normally would choose, but there's always some background behind the books she picks so I'm always really keen to check out what she sends me.  I have freaken loved all her past choices and have recommended them highly to every other book nerd in my circle.  Until now.......
I read the back, all pretty innocent.  Worked out it was going to be a thriller.  I'm down with that. Not my normal sedate genre but have dabbled in the past and liked where it took me.
Got half way through the story and all my insides curled up and died.  Pretty much just like the characters in this fucken SLASHER HORROR story I had in my hands!!! (Note to the author,: the graphic detail you used was highly inappropriate, disturbing and you hurt my brain.  You are obviously good at what you do and weren't hugged enough as a child?!)  Unfortunately I was far enough through that I had to keep going to make sure the psycho murdering freak show ended like I needed it too.  I literally didn't sleep for 2 nights.  Every time the dog barked, I fair shit myself and had to sleep with the light on.  I was exhausted.  As I was rocking in the fetal position I kept asking my self "Why Lynne Why?" I know I was a shit bag teenager but sweet jesus this is ridiculous payback.
I have now re-gifted it to my Father in Law so that it no longer haunts my beautiful book shelf.
If any one else wants to be scarred by this book you can search your kindles for 'Pretty girls' by Karen Slaughter (should've had half a clue after reading the authors name, I just thought that maybe she married one of the Slaughter boys?)
Anyway Thanks for the birthday surprise Mum, I'll send you my therapy bill xxx