I'm in the Fucked Off stage of the story. The Cry cause life feels a bit shit and unfair stage. The fiercely protective stage and I'm only the bystander in this chapter. Imagine being the main character. My friend Sam is the main character. This chapter started just over two weeks ago for me. Two weeks???!! WTF it feels like two months.
So my friend Sam has a cunty brain tumor. There I said it and I wrote it down, does that mean it will get the fuck out of her head space now. Nope cause that's a perfect world and that's not how this chapter works apparently, so says her medical team. Part of me gets why that arsey tumor picked Sam's brain, if you had to chose one hers would be a pretty epic spot to hang in. It's full of smart shit and good memories, great advice and big plans. It doesn't go for bullshit gossip or getting hung up on the small stuff. Its laid back and easy going. Its kind and funny and clever, but its hers and you weren't invited tumor and your not wanted. So get the Fuck out. If I wrote this chapter, that little beasty would be in a jar on her mantle piece for us to do voodoo on it. Or we would have had a bon fire on her beach and chucked it in the surf. Instead we will have to say nice things to it and surround it with all the positive juju vibes so it stays small and then my friend Sam can stay with us a lot longer. We're not finished with her yet, not by a long shot.
I met Sam through Niels. You must know Niels, he knows everybody. They live in their little piece of actual paradise in Whangamata with their two Divine dogs. It's the whole white picket fence story without the lame picket fence. Instead its surf boards, cool music, citrus trees, beach walks and styley shit. I don't think they even own winter clothes anymore. It's the lifestyle that we all not so secretly want. We live through them. Bonus of their life is we get a wicked pad to hang in and drink in and relax in whenever we can get our arses up there.
When all this kicked off Sam started a private message group on FaceBook so she could keep us updated on the hospital stays and the surgery and then the waiting for the results. While all that part was going on the fb group evolved into Sam's Army, this amazing safe place full of sunsets and sunrises, funny memories and kick arse love and support. It wasn't even for me but I felt all of it. I felt this heart connection with people I hadn't even met. She had this and We had her. Then we were all supposed to get the good news and start phase two of supporting her while she did some chemo or radiation or both, the story would then continue into recovery and a Fucken massive party. That was my plan. I had that story all written.
But Friday night changed that story. Terminal. Grade 4 Glioblastoma. Don't google it she said.
I googled it.
Its Sunday now. Two days later. Two. Two. ironic that, that is our favourite number. Not important but noteworthy. Yesterday I told myself that today, was the day to get off the sad train and get on the dance floor at the positive party. I think like Sam said its going to be an Emotional Roller Coaster. No rules. Go with it. Hands in the air. I'm going to write when I need too. She is too. Everyone has a chapter in this story, this is just mine.
Both these photos involve warm water and copious amounts of booze xx
Sam's beautiful friend Sara has started a givealittle page. Its a no pressure way to be apart of Sams story. Heres the link xx
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