Fifty Shades of Green

Yesterday afternoon started pretty innocently, just like any other really.  Picked up the 7yr old from school and headed to his library for a wee book sale.  Fill a bag for $1 the sign read. So fill we did.  All sorts of interesting titles have found a new home on his book shelf.
In the evening I was planning on heading to a besties house to help her fill in her annual real estate Christmas Card list for Clients on her data base which would also be a good excuse to drink bubbles and consume the chocolate she was enticing me there with as a reward for all our impending hard work and excellent penmanship.
I decided to jump in the shower before I left and was just starting the drying off stage when a little voice outside the bathroom declared he would sit outside the door and read me one of his new books.  I agreed that was a fabulous idea.  "It's a book about Frogs" he informed me.  "Excellent...read on" I replied towel drying my hair.
The 7 yr old is a pretty good reader but is still at the 'sounding out words we are unsure of' stage.  So it was a slow but steady story, plenty of time for my mind to drift....
"At the beginning of spring the frogs wake up and gather at the waters edge.  The breeding season, which lasts for roughly two months, then starts.  The male frogs inflate their throats and croak loudly to attract females, who grunt in reply and quickly join them in the water" at this point I wasn't really taking much notice of what he was reading so just threw in a "that's very interesting" and carried on getting dressed.....he continued "The male climbs onto the back of the female and clasps under the arms, his hands meeting across her red chest.  The male grips his mates slippery body...." at this point the words were suddenly sinking in as to what he was reading out to me...I froze in panic.  How to make this stop before he described in detail just how Frogs get jiggy with it or worked out just what he was reading and wanted to start asking questions.  Good God, I did not have time for this... with one leg in my jeans and frantically pulling on my top whilst yelling out "OK LETS LEAVE IT THERE...SKIP ON TO THE NEXT BIT, WHAT ELSE HAPPENS IN THIS BOOK"  I flung open the door, ripped the book out of his hands and flipped through another couple of pages until it got to the bit about what the bloody things eat and started him off there.  Close Call.

Oh look shes giving him a piggy back ride

Christmas Cake anyone??!!

Its a funny thing life isn't it?  My first ever sponsored post and its something I have never ever tried in my life.  Its not that I live under a rock but if you know me, you would no that I have very simple food tastes.  The husband is slowly working on me and I am trying new things, although the old saying "Don't tell them whats in it and they'll eat it by the box full" definitely applies.
I was very pleased when the nice people at 'Bakers Delight' contacted me asking me to sample and then write about a couple of their products.  I freaken love all their rolls, they stay fresh for longer.  My kids demand their Cheese and Bacon creation every time we pass and I have been known to devour their Garlic Bread Stick on plenty of occasions BUT when I read on and saw it was a Christmas Cake or Nana Cake in my brain my stomach dropped.  Don't get me wrong, I've had plenty of offers of trying Xmas Cake during my years on this planet but I have declined EVERY time as I just think of Old ladies and Tea Towels, and then head straight for the Jelly and fruit salad instead.  Only last year I tried my first slice of Pavlova! No Jokes! it was yummy but the texture was very strange.   So how on earth did I find myself replying to the kind email with an enthusiastic "Sure I'd love to!" but reply I did, so figured this was the universes way of making me get out of my box and give it a go.  Maybe at this point Bakers Delight are regretting their decision.  I'm very sure that if I end up not being a fan it will have nothing to do with the cake and more to do with my cave man appetite.  I also figured that my kids shouldn't wait until they are in their 30's to try some festive dessert so have roped them in to taste test also.  I have decided to video the whole thing for posperity and for honesty....gulp!

Thank You Universe

 Phew we survived the big move and we did it still talking to each other.  Success.  This move felt a lot bigger than any of the others and we have done a few.  It took 3 days of load after load, we hired a big truck and a couple of cash strapped uni students.  The poor ones work the hardest I have found.  I even gave them lunch.  They were in heaven.  Its so much easier to boss people around when they are strangers and getting paid.  Family and friends just don't take so kindly to being whipped and sworn at.  The animals and kids are loving all the wide open spaces although my chooks who up until now have been completely free range struggled a tad with the new concept of fences, they have a massive area but spent the first few days pecking the shit out of the wire trying to get out to us.  They have now adjusted nicely to being contained sometimes and roaming the acre the rest of the time.  Compromise.  Our new garden is way to big to be going hunting for eggs in all the bushes and we decided that with this house we wanted to be able to run around in bare feet and didn't want to be side stepping Chicken shit everywhere we went.  Lets see how my sassy girls cope with a couple of extras added to their flock in the next couple of weeks.
We were very lucky and had my mum come and stay last week bringing my gorgeous niece with her.  Mums idea of relaxing is weeding my orchard.  I tried to let her do her thing and sit inside reading my book but my guilt got the better of me and had to go and join her.  At one point during the hours of garden torture she said "Isn't this relaxing, are you having fun?" I replied with a resounding "NO, weeding suxs." but I will admit its a lot more bearable when your weeding with someone and it looked bloody good at the end of it all.  I actually had tried a week before to weed between some rocks surrounding our big lawn but its hard with only one hand and I kept spilling my wine so I gave that up pretty quickly.
The thing with being a bit rural is all the bloody environment that keeps coming inside.  Flies, Spiders big arse moths.  We may end up investing in a fly spray company before the years out.
On the plus side being rural means not having to shut curtains or lock cars, it means I can yell at my kids without the neighbours calling CYPS and its all so bloody blissful.

Thank you Universe