Almost Pets

I have this thing I find myself doing when I get bored or have too much time on my hands.  I like to almost buy pets.  I can spend hours on Trade Me when the kids are in bed and the husband is away scrolling through the Pet pages searching for our next addition.  Dogs? We have 2.  Another Cat perhaps? I completely dig my cat but I'm not sure she would be very welcoming to another moggy.  More Chooks? I'm not sure any would come close to my sassy girls and they shit a lot so no.  Another Budgie? This maybe the answer just to curb my appetite.  I've done the Rabbit and Guinea Pig thing in the past.  Pretty obvious piece of advice but don't get a boy and a girl.  Holy Shit they breed a lot! I was up to my armpits in speedy little hair balls.  I was having flash backs of the gremlin movie. Every time it rained I had visions of the little fuckers scuttling inside and eating my face off *shudder. Pretty much once my kids got bored with them it was left up to me to throw some lettuce in and move the hutch from spot to spot on the lawn leaving festering rectangles of poo and manky old straw in their wake. Boring!
 Goldfish are a pretty stink pet as well. It's all enthusiasm when your at the pet store and the kids are all like "yay I want the white one" and "I want the one with the googly eyes" "I want that fat orange one with the stripe on its tail" but the novelty soon wears off and after making sure the cat doesn't eat them every day and cleaning out the sludge in the tank 5 or 6 times you are pretty much ready to celebrate when the shit house earthquake sends the whole thing flying off the shelf putting us all out of our misery. Thank you Universe.
The 7yr old goes on about wanting a mouse. I'm tempted to say "be careful what you wish for" and shutting him in the pantry cause there appears to be some disgusting little rodent having quite the party in our bread crumbs and flour each evening judging by the hundreds of little poos littering the floor. Traps are set. It's like the matrix down there yet it seems to get the cheese off without losing his head. Little Bastard.
So I'll continue to troll through the ads and dream of the day when we finally get a large piece of land way out in the wop wops somewhere so I can fill it up with all sorts of hairy beasts bliss