Skills

 

The Husband has many skills…creating culinary masterpieces, selling ice to Eskimos, masacaring the back garden, starting jobs and not finishing them, pinching pennies, being able to fit extraordinary amounts of free booze/muffins/rolls/biscuits in his carry on luggage from the Koru Lounge but by far his most interesting is his ability to turn anything into a sexual innuendo.

He can take any innocent statement and when repeated with a suggestive voice and raised eyebrows suddenly takes on a whole new disturbing (but cute in a trailor park kind of way) vibe. 

Me “Can you put your washing away?”

Him “I’ll put yooor washing away!” (eye brows raised..sly smile..intense stare)

Me “umm I mean can you pick up your clothes and put them away?”

Him “How about I pick you up and put you away!” (really?!)

Me “can you put your dishes straight into the dishwasher?”

Him “How about I put your dishes straight into the dishwasher!” (thanks that would be helpful if you hadn’t said that like a serial killer!?)

It’s a gift!…I’m wanted!